Yesterday was Good Friday. I woke up with a bad back and I knew that I wanted to go to church no matter what. I crawled out of bed and made my way to the toilet for a shower and changed and made my way out of the house.
When I reached church, I noticed that my back did not hurt any more. I thank the Lord for it and I knew that I just wanted to get to church to spend some time with God and have fellowship with others.
After service, I went with my god parents for breakfast. They took me to Geylang Lor 1 for Prawn Noodles. Loved it. Loved especially the fellowship with god ma and god pa. I always feel very blessed when I am with them. From there, I got 2 god sisters, a god brother-in-law, a god grandma whom I call Mama, and the newest addition to the family is A. She is my new god niece. She is so cute and I love her so much. I thank the Lord daily for my extended family.
After I went to Parkway to shop for some stuff. As I was shopping, I realised that I was feeling some emotions coming along. I decided that it was the end of my shopping and I made my way home. When I reached home, I broke down. Why? I don't know... I just wanted to cry... Cry out to the Lord to heal me and grant me the peace and comfort in my heart.
Actually the truth is I know why I wanted to cry... all because of a person... a person whom I have feelings for but yet don't know if he feels the same way. Hmmmm.. Some times I ask the Lord why do I have to go through this feeling about someone? I think back and I rather enjoyed my 'single' days. Oh well, guess He thinks that I need it to wake me up and to also remind me that I am a human being and that I am a woman and I am allowed to have these feelings too.
A friend of mine told me this. "You are both adults, and it is good to let it all be in the open. If both parties are interested say so... if not get on with your lives... ." I also feel that way. Hmmmmm...... how open am I willing to get? Actually very. My friend said that I actually came right out to tell him how I really feel for him when I wrote my feelings down in a card.... *SCREAM* If this post is going to scare him away, so be it. All I can say that we are adult and we should face it up front.
Ok ok... going back to trust the Lord for He knows who and what is best for me. I can feel this way and that for a person but if he is not the Lord's chosen, it will not happen. But Lord, there were signs... I prayed for it and you gave me signs. So way the wait.... well, again me and my questions and have to trust the He knows what is best for His daughter.... ME!
I am reminded again in Matthew 5:37 "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." There should not be a grey, or half half or anything. If I trust in the Lord, I trust in Him. Amen!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment